Failure

"Failure should be our teacher, not our undertaker. Failure is delay, not defeat. It is a temporary detour, not a dead end. Failure is something we can avoid only by saying nothing, doing nothing, and being nothing." -Denis Waitley


Is failure bad?

While developing throughout our lives, there are always times in which we are told, or given the impression that failing is a bad thing, such as failing on a test in school, playing baseball and "striking out," a falling out with a friend, partner (boyfriend/girlfriend), and not living up to our parents or elder's standards. While experiencing these situations we may feel that we are a "failure," and feel bad about what had happened, but it does not mean we are a failure overall.

My favorite movie has always been "Top Gun," particularly because of the messages that are portrayed during the movie. This main message is to learn from what has happened in a situation, and apply it in the future. In a scene where Tom Cruise, a Navy Pilot is speaking with his instructor about his partner being killed the instructor says:
"A good pilot is compelled to evaluate what's happened, so he can apply what he's learned."

This is something that we can all apply in our daily lives to help us grow, and become our best self.

Here is an excellent article from selfgrowth.com about failure, and it's impact in our lives.

*** Article: Fear of Failure: What Does Failure Mean to You? - By Margaret Paul, Ph.D. ***

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What do you believe about failure?

The ego wounded part of ourselves, the left-brain part of ourselves that has been programmed with many false beliefs, often believes that:

"If I fail, I am a failure."

"If I fail, I am stupid."

"If I fail, no one will like me or value me."

"If I fail, then there is no point in ever trying again."

"If I fail, it brands me for life as incompetent."

"If I fail, then everyone who thought I was smart will now think I am stupid."

"If I fail, I will have made a fool of myself."

On the other hand, the loving adult part of us -- our right brain, open, creative, and learning part of us -- generally believes that:

"If I fail, then I just need to work harder, to put in more effort."

"If I fail, I will have learned valuable lessons that will eventually lead to success."

"Failure is a part of life. No one succeeds without some failure."

"Failure does not at all reflect on my worth as a person. I am intrinsically worthy, regardless of success or failure."

"Failure offers me incredible opportunities to think outside the box, to think creatively. Let's get to work!"

"I love learning, and I love challenges. What I do is not about success or failure -- it is about the joy of creativity, learning, and expressing who I am."

Which way of thinking prevails within you? What are the consequences to you of allowing yourself to think from your wounded self instead of from your loving adult?

Failure - A Part of Life

The fact is that mistakes and failure ARE a part of life. Instead of fearing them, why not make it okay to make mistakes and to fail? Why not take the onus off of failure? Why not embrace the process of learning and growing instead of only being focused on the outcome of your efforts? Why not focus on enjoying the process of learning and creating something that is important to you?

People who don't worry about success or failure, who instead are excited about their learning and growing process, generally find their way to succeed. The reason for this is that they don't let failure stop them. Instead, failure spurs them on to work harder, to put forth even more effort to learn what they need to learn to succeed.

On the other hand, even very smart people, who are dominated by their ego-wounded selves, generally allow failure to derail them. Believing they ARE a failure if they fail, they become too afraid to make more effort. In addition, they often believe that success or failure is not dependent on effort, but on ability. When this is their belief, they often give up at the first sign of failure, fearing that, if their natural intelligence and ability is not leading to success, then there is no point in trying harder.

Creating Success

Every successful person knows that effort, creativity, openness to learning, and perseverance are what create success, not necessarily high intelligence, talent, or ability. Every truly successful person is someone who has not allowed failure to stop him or her from forging ahead with passion and purpose.

I encourage you to tell yourself that it is okay to make mistakes and okay to fail. I encourage you to see mistakes and failures as wonderful learning opportunities for growth. I encourage you to let go of the outcome and allow yourself to become fully excited about the process of learning, of growth, and of creation. Being fully present and excited for the process is what life is all about!

About the Author:

Margaret Paul, Ph.D. is a best-selling author of eight books and co-creator of the powerful Inner Bonding® healing process. Are you are ready to heal your pain and discover your joy? Learn Inner Bonding now! For articles, help, and a FREE Inner Bonding course, visit her website at http://www.innerbonding.com. Phone Sessions Available. Join the thousands she has already helped!